Mon Amour

It takes one moment to change your life, one moment to see it, one moment to ruin it and one moment to set it right. If I was on the verge of damnation, it was your love that saved me. When I was foolish it was love's pragmatism that brought sense. Even though I went over the edge it was your forgiveness that redeemed me. And you were right, my love did fall short. I have tried to look into the eyes of another and find the love that you bear me. Stood at the sidewalks, not knowing that all I had to do was to walk in - unaware that it was you that I was searching for, and that I already had you. I have spent sleepless nights penning down words I wanted to scream out, pierced and slashed through my flesh in the hope that it would hurt you. But the anger was misdirected and may be deliberately so, for unknown to myself I was saving me from a self destructing rampage...
And yet you say that I am your angel. I stand stripped infront of you, humiliated and humbled - the confession of a self condemned soul. Save me darling from this hell I have put myself in, save me.

Upon one lazy evening...

Life, the strangest of all stories, isn't it? Each bend and a new twist, one more realisation, another acceptance, a tinker of joy and yet another heartbreak. Life, to me, seems like a wild horse, electrifying in all its vitality and exuberance, yet untamable, the more you try to hold on to its reins, the more you are likely to fall. Or it might even be like a still, calm mountain lake, each event a ripple on its surface and to grasp it is useless; you have to accept its fluidity and cup your hands accordingly. Should sadness and happiness be disturbances, imposters trespassing into life which is defined by serenity, we belong to the imposters as much as we do to life. One cannot classify like that for life is all encompassing, and unfair too, for we cannot choose the elements we like best and leave the rest for someone else. It needs must be that things happen when we expect it the least and surprise us with the recognition of our helplessness infront of life's caprice.
Fortunate is he, blessed with the absence of these musings, unaware that life cannot be planned and charted into neat grids and that the best we mortals can do is to bow our heads infront of life's mighty awesomeness and admire silently, paying our tributes.

A Snapshot.

At Oran, as elsewhere, for lack of time and thinking, people have to love each other without knowing much about it.
-A line I came across the other day, brilliantly potraying what could be called the burden of modernity. This strain of thoughtlessness is like an epidemic, inflicting all and invading each of life's perview. We live, in the sense that we eat, breathe, see, talk, love but how many of us contemplate these life processes that we have managed to naturalize? But once in a while things happen which force us to rethink the way we look at life. For example in the backdrop of shallow consumerism, a Nokia N82 ad me recognise the romance in everyday life that we fail to realise. Isn't a firefighter battling a raging blaze truely like a knight taming a feirce dragon?My entry into the big city was marked by a haunting sense of lonliness. I remained a loner while I oscillated between a state of being surrounded by friends and extreme friendlessness. Time rolled on the alien became the familiar and yet I stayed on the outside occupying a precarious paradigm between the suburban quaint and the urban modern. A distance enforced itself, betwee me and everything I saw, and like a disgruntled critic reviewing bad poetry, I overlooked whatever little merits my existance showed. My life screams of raw gnashes and dark scars but to pick up the pieces is the real task. The journey has only begun...